Eight days ago I help lay to rest one of the two women who have molded me into the woman I am today. Even as a writer, there are still no words to describe such a pain of a huge loss. It’s been 14 days since my heart has felt whole. Since the moment the neurosurgeon told us Nanny isn’t going to wake up, I immediately felt like 3/4 of my heart disappeared. While I am dealing on a daily basis, if not moment to moment basis, how to deal with my loss and learning how to carry on in spite of how I feel on the inside, it is still a struggle. Certain days, times of day, smells, memories, etc. are harder than others. There isn’t a waking or sleeping moment that my Nanny isn’t on my mind in some fashion.
When Nanny became sick I knew I wanted to do her eulogy, however when it came time I knew there would be no way I could hold it together in front of everyone long enough to get through it. So instead I put together a video eulogy and I honestly could not have asked for it to come together in a better way. It is short and simple yet totally expresses the special love and bond Nanny and I shared. I originally planned on posting the eulogy online, but then after the funeral I just wasn’t ready. I’ve been getting lots of requests from people who didn’t get to go to the funeral or have just heard about the video to see it. This video is incredibly close to my heart but I feel like I can share it. Nanny, this is for you… like you always said, I loves chu!