As I was driving home “New Rules” by Dua Lipa came on the radio. Now I’ve heard this on the radio two or three times in the last few months and every time it comes on I think, “Yassss! More girls need to listen and follow these rules.” and then I continue to jam out to the song. The beat is great, right? However this time was different. I felt compelled to write. Like this intense need. So I came home grabbed a leftover vegan burrito, poured a glass of wine, and now here I am.
If you’ve listened to this song I am almost positive you can relate. Who hasn’t been with someone they just can’t seem to let go of. Bonus points if you consciously knew they were bad for you but just couldn’t understand the hold they had on you.
Lord knows I’ve been there.
Twice, unfortunately. The first time I was in “love,” heavy emphasis on the quotation marks. I confused love with the determination to prove my mom wrong. What a silly little girl I was. The second time was semi recently and it’s the closest I feel like I’ve come to love. At least love for someone. Perhaps the idea of someone. This one I needed God to send me straight smack dab into a brick wall to see that jokester for who he is, but I definitely learned my lesson on that one.
I know I learned the life lessons I was suppose to because I exercised those lessons learned on the latest guy – but that’s a blog post all in its own right. I also feel like I’m finally on the other side of this lesson and the rules Dua Lipa talks about in this song because I can stand here and promise you I can could exercise all of these rules without second guessing myself. That’s a triumph in my book!
So what are these rules? Here… let’s discuss them in her words…
One, don’t pick up the phone
You know he’s only calling ’cause he’s drunk and alone
Two, don’t let him in
You have to kick him out again
Three, don’t be his friend
You know you’re gonna wake up in his bed in the morning
And if you’re under him
You ain’t getting over him
I can’t scream “Preach!” loud enough! Just a little real talk served to you. That’s what I’m talking about. The first rule is important but I think the third rule is the major key. I can’t stress how crucial this rule is. Sometimes you just have to learn this the hard way but I promise you…. if you’re under him there is not a chance on this side of hell you’re getting over him. You’re just not. It’s just scientific and if you think otherwise that’s just your ego talking to you. That one eyed snake needs to find some other hole to crawl in because yours is closed. Once it’s done you just need to cut the cords. All cords. You’ll be happier in the long run for it. He doesn’t love or respect you and no matter how much knocking boots isn’t going to change that. I’ll tell ya, waking up happy with your vibrator in your night stand is a lot better than waking up next to him with a pit of regret in your stomach. Self respect is a beautiful thing.
Check out the whole song by watching Dua Lipa’s video below and cheers to a new empowering anthem!